Before I met Master, I used to visit mediums that could see my spirit guides. One day when I went for a reflexology treatment, the lady started to open and close her eyes very fast. She was talking to my guides and told me that I was surrounded by a number of spirit beings and one was a being of unbelievable beauty. I could see she was amazed by "seeing" my guide and found it difficult to express the beauty of this presence. I asked her the name of this guide, and she replied, "She gives me the name Running Water; and when you are sad and lonely, sit by the stream and cry, and are by yourself, She is always there with you."
I was amazed at what she was saying because I often used to go to a nearby forest, rest by a stream, and contemplate. After hearing this, I had tears in my eyes and was deeply moved. However, I went on my journey, determined to find some answers, but also very confused. I knew that there was always someone guiding me, but at times, I still felt so alone. I was very emotional and used to cry a lot, sometimes so deeply like a powerful thunderstorm.
Then one day I was invited to attend one of Supreme Master Ching Hai's video lecture seminars presented by a Quan Yin messenger and fellow initiates. At that time, I was a reflexologist and one of the initiates had seen my advertisement and invited me to this talk. When I saw Master on the video, I felt this beautiful, unconditional love moving through Her. I thought She was just like Jesus, because He, too, was called the Supreme Master. I wondered if She was Jesus reincarnated. I now know that it is not the person that reincarnates, but it is the Supreme Master that returns to awaken us to our hidden Supreme Inner Truth.
However, I was greatly reluctant and troubled by inner struggles. Although I felt a love that was so pure and unconditional, I still had my doubts. In addition, I did not want to give up the delicious cheesecake with eggs in it. At that time, I would rather have cheesecake than enlightenment - how foolish one can be and how wasteful of precious time! I almost missed a once in a lifetime opportunity to meet a real living Master and to receive initiation. At that video showing, I did not apply for initiation, but tried to follow the precepts as much as I could to help my spiritual progress.
Then one day I went to a holistic life-style fair to give reflexology treatments, and I was placed next to the Quan Yin booth. I felt so at home next to this group, and as I gave reflexology treatments, Master's videos played. I could feel Her love moving through me and helping me with the treatments. When I had a moment, one of the brother initiates came over and we started to talk. Looking at him and another sister initiate, I was amazed at the pure and clear sparkle in their eyes. I wanted to receive initiation but still had such strong doubts and difficulty in making the decision to follow this most pure path. However, I halfheartedly began practicing the Convenient Method. During my attempt at the Convenient Method practice, I felt terrible backaches and it was difficult for me to sit in a group. I felt so heavy laden and burdened that I complained to the contact person, and stopped going to group meditation.
I continued to give reflexology treatments at the monthly spiritual fairs. However, this practice became dangerous for me because during one session I experienced sensations of being taken to a very dark and confusing place. Also, my back continually ached with pain, but I tried to persevere and remain focused. Although in my heart I was ready for initiation due to my feeling of unconditional and pure love from Master, the forces of maya are very powerful and it took a long time for me to finally decide to receive it.
At a later fair, the contact person introduced me to another Quan Yin messenger, who came over to watch as I performed the reflexology treatments. As he stood there, I could feel the power emanating from him so strongly that I was distracted and almost lost focus. When we spoke, he seemed so carefree, without any worry in the world. He was so calm, but I could sense that he wanted to give me initiation. I waited for a week before I decided to take the initiation. When I phoned the Center, they were just about to fax the applications for initiation, so I guess I phoned at just the right moment. A couple of days or maybe a week passed before I had confirmation for initiation. I was happy and surprised to see that the messenger was still around. On the day of my initiation, I asked him why he hadn't left yet. He replied, "Because I was waiting for you." Touched, I felt more loved than ever before. During initiation, I felt very heavily burdened and uncomfortable. The contact person and the messenger asked if my reflexology treatments were like spiritual and psychic healing. I must have had a lot of ghosts around me at that time. I now no longer do reflexology treatments, and feel much lighter and more creative.
I was very fortunate because fellow initiates met for group meditation in the early morning at a house within walking distance from me. Every morning I would go to meditation from 4-7 AM, and afterwards we would have breakfast together. I was often so energized and received so much love from the initiates that I was almost always in tears. During one breakfast, a sister initiate gave me a picture of Master when she was much younger. In this picture, Master's hair is long, dark and flowing. Her face is soft and innocent, and her eyes wise, pure, and confident. So beautiful - just the woman I had seen in a dream I once had long before initiation. One night I had gone out partying and just before I was about to pass out on the bed, I asked God, "Who is the one for me?" I dreamed of a beautiful Indian squaw with long dark flowing hair who came to wake me up. I awoke wondering if I was ever going to see this beautiful woman. I am a very romantic person and wanted to marry her. One day I would find her.
Truly, Master is the woman of my dream! When I saw this picture, I could hardly believe it; my inner being started to feel joy like never before. Then this sister began to describe the Australia Retreat in May1997 to celebrate Master's birthday. Always filled with tears when speaking of Master, she was trying to describe one of the dresses Master was wearing. She said, "It was so beautiful, like... like... (she searched for the best word) ... like running water." I almost flew out of the room when I heard this name again "Running Water". It is impossible to describe how I felt. These are not coincidences; they are true experiences that actually started to awaken me. I thought I would never meet my spirit guide, Running Water, while I was still on Earth. God works so beautifully; Supreme Master Ching Hai is my "Running Water," washing away my pain and helping to cleanse my sins. She was my guide before I was initiated, and She is my guide now. Whenever I doubted Her, even after initiation, I was always shown the Master in Her most beautiful, sincere, compassionate, and loving form.
What I would like to say to all fellow initiates and initiates-to-be is: Master Ching Hai is your guide before you receive initiation, your guide while you are initiated, and will continue to be your guide as long as you need Her. Whenever you are sincere or whenever you doubt Her, She will appear to you in the form that is most beautiful and magnetic for you. This is my story of how I met Master, and this is my destiny. I am married to the Supreme Master inside of me, now and forever.